The other day I posted that LEGOS was our answer. Does S like them? Yes she does. I found though when watching her do them it's like her reading. She skips steps, puts pieces on backwards but does her best. Does it hold her attention? Yes. Happiness and attention at times are all that matters. However, they are back on the shelf.
Having a child with Aspergers or as I like to say undiagnosed Aspergers, has really and is still teaching me to let things go. As I have gotten older maybe I have become sort of a control freak. Maybe it's the four kids that I have that I need control or the Virgo in me. Either way I am who I am.
When S came into our family. I had these dreams of having a little girl that I hold, dress in super girlie clothes, do braids in her long hair, play babies, etc... S does not like having her hair touched, picks at her nail polish, and likes anything but frillies. If she could wear the same outfit everyday she would (pink shorts, pink shirt) she actually does. For a control freak like me she has taught me to let go of the small things.
I have come up with a name for the way she talks called "akward-nisims" it's those strange comments or words that she makes up and in some way makes sense, sounds, and all the different quirks that she does. The control freak in me wants to fix what she says, calling a merry-go-round, a "festubal" I can understand that in some way. Not quite a festival but some what. Asking why her cousins have "spots" meaning assigned seats in the stroller.
With S though there is a normalcy about her that makes you easily forget she is different. She can hold eye contact for a short period of time and asks questions (not quite a conversation if you pay attention), she looks normal, loves to sing etc.. It's when things are said and done in her Aspie logical way.
I think because there is not quite a diagnosis YET, that I have a hard time accepting it. I am blessed that Children's hospital treats her and gives her therapies as needed. She just started her cognitive therapy. They say she is a little young to start this. When she met with her new therapist, the therapist commented " it's hard to see right away that there are problems. She does a good job answering questions, however if you pay attention you see it's all surface just answering, no conversation, and she's not actually playing with the toys just moving around the objects." They are going to start teaching her to understand feelings and that there is more then just happy and sad (which she has a hard time understanding those) and her social cues which are starting to affect her schooling
To tell you the truth lately as you can tell I'm having a really hard time with S. I have to hold my tongue on saying "WHY ARN"T YOU UNDERSTANDING!!!" Everything I say to her she thinks I'm mad, even when I'm not. I feel bad for her, it hurts as a parent waiting, watching as schooling, friends, etc.. seem to move away.
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