Who knows?

Sometimes I just don't know what to say. I think maybe I should start my life with an almost AA/NA type of feel "Hello my name is Isabel and I am a ______ (sinner, mother, selfish, etc....). " My life is full of so much to tell and I don't know half the words to explain it. When I do take time to share people usually say "You should write a book." , "How do you do it?" the thing is though is that I really don't share. That is why I thought of restarting this writing thing. I know people will read it so I still am guarding my hearts but, there is that part of me that is saying - LET IT GOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! So I guess I will try some baby steps with things that you may not have known about me.

1. I am a mother of four

2. We are in the process of fully adopting M and S.

3. My children are 7, 6, 4 and 3.

4. I am a fighter, in all things

5. I could do none of this without my God.

6. S has special needs, that we are still figuring out. Maybe she does? Maybe she doesn't?

7. I don't know what to do sometimes and have to fight going into my own bubble. I never do give into it or give up.

8. I still don't know what to call S special needs they diagnosed it as PDD-NOS (Pervasive Development disorder-none otherwise specified) since they didn't want to call it ASPERGERS or then again they don't know if it's Trauma induced.

9. I do accept it, I don't accept it. I HATE LABELS.

10. I love my children each one of them no different from the next.

11. I would have none of this without my husband's support and guidance.

12. Sometimes I just want to cry for how unfair the world is. A lot of times I do.

13. I am so mad at our system for the hole that it has for the lost children in the world.

14. I believe in nurture not nature.

............... I could go on and on. I was blabbing but hopefully listing it this way will help me to accept my daughters needs and the ups and downs that come with it. I wish I could give this to those people that wonder, question and stare at my parenting. Don't judge a parent by their child you never know what is inside.

Today is only Wednesday, hump day after today Thursday, then Friday then SPRING BREAK until the 22nd of April.!!! When I hear that I feel a mixture of feelings, excitement for the sunny days, days of no getting up early, time of bonding, then the other thoughts the HONEST thoughts hit me all the tears (he hit me!), boredom (I don’t know what to play with?), instruction ( you put the toilet seat like this!), constant neediness ( I’m hungry, can I have something to drink...). It’s only two weeks... we can do this breathe Isabel, breathe....

The positive side my schedule gets to take a break and not look like this

• J school drop off
• Preschool drop off (depending on day)
• errand/clean house time (1hour time span)
• S drop off
• 1 1/2 to clean some more, gym (optional), then school PTC stuff (yes I am crazy to be on this.)
• Reverse and Pick up Preschool, then the older two
• Tutoring depending on day
• Baseball or Softball something or other (nothing on FRIDays)
• Cook Dinner, EAT
• Shower, bedtime
• xRepeat

Now I know why these Richie, Rich women have home managers. I need one of those!! When one wants to intern for free I’ll be all over that.

Don’t get me wrong in any of this, I L-O-V-E my children each and every one of them. They are ALL mine, and I love to hear them say Mommy. Only 1/2 the time to I want to change my name.

I don’t know if I inherited the writing gene but, I do love to talk and I am a honest speaker, I don’t mind sharing the blessings and truth of our life. With a story like ours - How can you not? If I didn’t say that it wasn’t trying and exhausting I would be lying. We are a family of six! We have two boys and two girls. How do you do it? I don’t know, I’ll let you know when I figure it out and by that time I’ll be dead. Two of our children - J and K were our natural children, my other two bundle of blessings M and Salma were placed in our care literally overnight a year and half ago. Now I am the mother of a 7 year old boy, 6 year old girl, 4 year old boy, and a 3 year old girl. We are currently on the journey of adoption which is a whole different story. This is too make S and M our forever babies.

This blog is to let out my daily AGHHHHH moments, my THANK YOU LORDS, my OH NO SHE DIDN’T, Laughter and tears. Either way I hope someone finds pleasure in my crazy days.

March 2009

Well this month has been a little crazy to say the least.
My little baby boy turned 5
so I guess he's a BIG BOY now. We didn't have a birthday party this year but instead went to Disneyland.

The first day was great, crowds were perfect and the kids loved it. Well as much as Kaylah could. The second day was no fun. We do not like California Adventure but hey 2fer. An hour into entering the park Kaylah got really sick, Jaden whined the whole time so we lasted about a whole two hours and about three rides. We were all exhausted though. Kaylah has pretty much mastered walking and is working on running. She is such a little girl that loves her babies, and moms chap stick. With that though she can handle her own with her brother and loves to be in the mix. Oh and if you don't know me too well my kids have taken after me and they ARE NOT QUIET!

Well with all that said if you have been keeping updated a little by reading the blog you would have seen that I was pregnant. Well the little one is now with our Father in Heaven. I went in for my 12week check up to find that the little one only made it to 9weeks 2days. Explaining this to Jaden was a little difficult but he's a very smart little guy that loves the Lord and understood that God had his reasons. It's weird that one moment your pregnant but the next you are not. We have been blessed by the support of our family and friends. One friend passed me this verse that helped me a lot:
Nahum 1:7 - The LORD is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble; And He knows those who trust in Him

Already I can see why this was meant to be. And in God's timing who knows what the future holds.

Here are some other trips we took this month, a tea party for Kaylah, the zoo, bowling and Jaden went to La Jolla Cove with his Nina and Nino Alex.
Take Care and have a fun April

Kaylahs Guilty Face

I was looking through some photos of Kaylah and was thinking how she is our little sneaky one here are some photos recently of her.

Gods Surprise

This past January 31st Brian and I got a Huge Surprise!! I was starting to get the old "I think I'm pregnant?" feeling. So of course before I was ready to teach a lesson on God's Strength I took a pregnancy test. And there it was two lines staring back at me!!! I couldn't beleive it as we were not plannning too physically have a third. We have always had adoption on our heart and thought that we would look into this in a year or so but God had other plans. Brian had even scheduled his manly appointment if you know what I mean.

I came home and told Brian to close his eyes and surprised him with the test, needless to say he was little surprise as he wasn't even expecting me to be pregnant. I didn't even tell him that I was having thoughts and feelings thinking I was. I took another test on Sunday and to reconfirm and got the Doctors confirmation on Feburary 2nd.

I'm not sure yet when our actual due date is we are thinking early October of this year. My first doctor appointment is on Feburary 25th so we will share the due date and this one is going to be a surprise on what we are having.

It has been good to be studying God's Attributes and learning that God knows all, plans all and is in control of all. God is Good.

New Year 2009

Happy New Years and a Belated Merry CHRISTmas!

We had a busy time this holiday season, but what is new. Our Christmas day consisted of Brian really, really sick, traveling in the rain, and shells for dinner. It was a very different day to say the least however; I know that we will be blessed with many more though. That week though we still had Christmas time with my mom and sister and then another day we met up with my dad.

New Years time Brian and I finally made it out, without the kids to a New Years party. It was very nice, and we had fun. I got to see a lot of my old friends that I love so MUCH!! They still crack me up.

The family is doing well as things are always changing and something new. Kaylah turned ONE on January 18th. Oh my baby is one years old!!! Where did the time go? It seemed like it flew by more with Kaylah then with Jaden. She is becoming such a little girl and no longer a baby. She is obsessed with babies and kids around her age. She can say - hi, bye, baby, apple, Dada, mom or mama, cracker, up, ease(please), daden(Jaden), Ama (Grandma), Tata, Papa, ball, and I think that is it for now but, that is a lot if you don't ask me. We have a Genius on our hands, ha ha. She is attempting to walk but not quite yet. I think in another week or two but no rush. She knows what she wants and demands it. Gee, I wonder where she gets that from?

Jaden is still such a wonderful big brother and we are so blessed to have such a loving, sweet boy. He is careful to watch Kaylah and what she does, they love to hug each other and cuddle with one another more then us. He is becoming such a big boy. He starting to read and I watch him in awe. God is good, God is good!! He loves school and as he says to play "Rogers" there that is a secret word for soldiers he said so the teacher doesn't know what they are talking about. He is a funny one, and very quick.

Well take care, and hopefully I will talk more soon.
Isabel