Breathe

It's been awhile since I last posted.  I honestly don't know what has been going on.  We've been so busy with the school life.  The every day rut of pick up and drop offs.  Nothing really has been changing too much.  I've been spending some time secretly observing S at school and out of school.  Her next BIG evaluation is next Thursday and I have pages and pages to fill out.   A few things I have noticed is her social skills have not been improving but getting worse.  Is that possible? For her,  she's not depressed or realizes that their is a difference.  I see her pulling away more often from big crowds or old friends.  The play date invitation's that we once received from her many school friends don't come around too often or at all.  I watch the other moms make plans as I stand in the background.  I don't take offense to this as I do have other children and know the routine, how it works.  If your kid isn't playing with my child (or another) then that's it, your not going to receive an invite.

A couple of times when I have watched her play at school. She's playing by herself or eating by herself. She does her usual walk up and watch the other kids play but not interacting.  She's happy and notices no difference. On the soccer field when it's break time she usually sits on her ball alone while the others play with each others hair, clothes, etc...  She does have some good little girlfriends that I am grateful for because they push her to do more.  They don't mind her quietness or her grumpiness at times but they are the leaders and she is the follower.

I spoke to someone form Regional the other day and they said once S gets her diagnoses. If the school gives her an IEP then Regional will be forced to help and re-evaluate her for services.  Which means they would help fund a lot of her therapies.  Please pray for this.  This is why I need the diagnosis of ASPERGERS.  Therapies are EXPENSIVE!

Besides S .... J seems to be doing good.  He is going through something of figuring himself out. His coolness.. what to do, what not to do.  And he's only 7 1/2 (sad face)..  I find myself just wanting to hold him to cuddle him but he won't let that happen to often.

Besides all the above somewhere I managed to have a birthday.  Yes I am a young mother of four.  For those of you that don't know I am only 30.  What am I suppose to say to that?  "Oh your 30 now.  How does it feel?"  More like I am in my late 40's or older. Age is just a number, really. We all lead different lives and feel so different.   HELLO I have FOUR CHILDREN one that I has something going on.  HOW DO YOU THINK IT FEELS?  No it's not like it's time to grow up because I've already grown up.  I think through everything to be honest..  I find myself just going through something.  Re-evaluting my life and re-telling myself that it's not about me.  I have do this every now and then.  My life is my husband and children and that is it.  There's not a lot time to sit and breathe just to do.

We are also waiting for our adoption date.  SO EXCITED!! Everything is done just waiting for that phone call from the court.  And for those of you that don't know my child that I lost a couple of years ago. Their date of birth is coming up and I always find myself thinking of them and how old they would have been around this time.  I may not have carried them long but I do think about sometimes.

ALL MY LOVE to you ALL THAT READ and SUPPORT - THANK YOU