The fight for one

S's next autism appointment is coming up.  This is the last diagnosis.  The last place I went to, I do not recommend.  The lady told me all that was wrong with my child and then didn't diagnosis. Because S has had what some would say a traumatic background a lot of people lean on that but, that is not why S is the way she is I feel.  So this time we are going to Children's the first place about a year ago that diagnosed her with PDD-NOS.

Lately I keep getting this feeling that people still don't get it.  Why do you want to diagnosis your daughter? Why can't you just accept her for who she is?  What good is it going to do once you get the diagnosis?  It seems like you keep doing this over and over?

Here it is people.....  S is my daughter however you may look at it, she is mine.  I will fight for her and any of my children for whatever it is that is the best for them.  I do accept S for who she is, I love her more then anything I can describe.  I accept the fact that she closes up when overwhelmed, that she has fits because she can't describe her feelings, that she would rather read all day then play outside, that she has sensory issues, that she doesn't sleep, etc...

It's not a thing of acceptance.  By receiving a full fledge diagnosis of Aspergers it actually will help S with a lot.  At this moment S is receiving Social Therapy at school not because they have too but because they are doing me a favor.  S does not receive a IEP or 504 and without either one they most likely will not continue to do this.  Without a diagnosis I won't be able to have either one of those.  The traits of Aspergers is starting to emerge more and more.  I'm not trying to fight it, I am trying to help her to understand her world more.  In every child they speak of a window, a time frame that is the best to teach your child in.  That window I feel like is closing more and more.  I feel as if I only have a certain amount of time to pour into her about feelings, understanding others, touching, etc..

I love her and I am only trying to help her so that she wont have to struggle so much.  Don't tell me nothing is wrong, I know her the best.  I know how many times I have to explain simple things that others just get.

Do you know how hard it is to hear your child's teacher tell you that your child doesn't socialize much? Or to hand over screaming child in the midst of a school yard all because she can't find the words to describe her frustration? To see the look in your child's eyes because you know they know they can't find the words, or to hear them say "Mommy it's so hard to understand ______,"
All I can give is hugs.  Hugs are the best thing in the world, they say so much and that is all I can give most of the time.

I love her and I do accept her.  I still feel that this doesn't explain much... Every parent wants to help their child succeed and so do I.