Vacation and More

Where have we been? We've been in Vegas baby!!  Daddy and I took S and J to Vegas for a couple of nights.  We had dinner at Rainforest Cafe, saw the lions at MGM, more and more food and then the Mystere show.  They LOVED the show!  I was nervous with all my usual worries of what if's but S was into the whole show and vacation, the show moved at just the right pace, and she enjoyed seeing all the new things.  J on the other hand it felt like I had a jr.high, high schooler.  He said he loved it but he seemed to complain a lot.

Now of course we are back to normal school schedule.  Last post I mentioned how I am trying so hard not to yell.  To be honest a couple of times I did feel like I was losing it and maybe I did lose it a little. However ( KNOCK on WOOD) I find that I've been holding it together lately.  I've just been turning up my music when S loses it the car, letting myself imagine something calm and relaxing and praying before I feel like blowing.

J has been really been the hard one.  His homework is a lot of work in the evenings and I am so tired of getting him to do it every night. It's exhausting.  The other day he said "Why arn't you nice?!"  My answer "Why do I have to reapeat myself more then twice to get you to do something.  If you listen to me the first time then I can be a little nicer." His response NONE he knows what he does..

S has been going to social skills class twice a week at her school.  It is such a blessing because she still doesn't have an IEP so they don't have to do this.  I asked the psychologist today - "When does this all start working, does it?"  Of course there wasn't a direct answer.  Just the same you got to keep doing it, it takes time.  S can tell me what she is suppose to do when she is calm, how she is suppose to use her words but when she gets mad it just flies out the window.  Once a week she has been losing it in the mornings at school when I drop her off.  The staff again knows her and me so they just grab her hand from me and walk away.   As a mother it is hard to watch your child in full tears being pulled away but I know it is in the best and there is no logic to the fit in the first place.

Her teacher is AMAZING.  For the first time someone in the school has picked up on S's tendencies.  See most people overlook S because around people she is quiet, a helper, a lot of times she just does things without being asked, a very sweet child.  At home we get the other end.....
Her teacher though noticed that S doesn't socialize with the other children a lot, that she likes to organize the teachers stuff (without asking), that she would stay by her all day if she let her, that she is touchy to people (hands, clothes, etc...), that she likes to be the "teacher".    See most people want this from their children but not when this is all your child does.  So she has been trying to teach her to "use her hands nicely" or re-pointing her to do something else.  I feel so blessed by this and somewhat SANE.

Why then do I feel like I am still trying to grab at whatever time I have left with my child? To fill her with whatever it is she needs to learn.  I don't know - Maybe I am overreacting?  Maybe I am the crazy one?  All I know is I still feel like I am doing the right thing and their is something "Just what?"