Freedom

This post has taken me about a week to write.  I don't really know why that is, other then something has preoccupied my mind, time, life.  Every chance I get to sit down is filled with a need of someone or something.  At this moment it's 9pm at night. I am trying my hardest to get everyone in bed.  S has taken to complaining and whining about bed time every night and while shucks every nap time.  The kid just doesn't sleep. A friend of mine suggested giving her melatonin a natural aid to help her sleep. I am planning on starting it after her evaluation this week.  At this moment she's complaining that it's dark in her room, she has a night light but I guess the darkness has changed whatever.

Summer Break has been upon us for about a week and half. Time has been spent camping at the beach, basketball camp for J and just living everyday life with the others.  S overall has been doing as good as she can.  She loses it every now and then but I have taken to posting our plans two days in advance on a white board in our kitchen, this seems to help her a little and she can read it any time that she wants to go over it. This coming week I have enrolled her in Art Camp with a friend they will be doing - Hip Hop dancing, singing, and acting.  I really hop she enjoys it.  I am curious on how this will go about.  I never know what to expect.  I always expect exhaustion after it's done but never know what to expect during.  I also hate to tell people what may or may not happen as she deserves to be treated like everyone else, she is.

S's big autism appointment got moved to this coming Wednesday.  We were planning our day and getting ready to head up there when I called to confirm since I didn't hear from them before hand.  The dr. had forgotten to make the appointment in her calender which moved us to this coming Wednesday.  At first I had felt like I had just got punched in the gut since, I am in desperate need of thearpies and help.  In the long run though I believe this worked out for the best.  I had recieved a spur of the moment call from the County regarding an interview of the children for the termination of thier old parents rights.

On Wednesday we went to the interview just me, M and S.  It was very short and went very well.  Then this last Friday we had the BIG DAY.  I don't even know what to say really. ....  I don't want to talk much about it since I don't know who reads this and I want to wait till it's all said and done but it was a very fast process and now we wait for the big day.... ( I am sure you can fit in the puzzle pieces).  Expect a very emotional blog when that time comes.

The emotion of this week came down on me when we got home and I crashed from Noon till 5pm.  My body was so emotionally exhausted I had to fight myself to get out the bed.  So much has happened since S and M came into our lives.  We are blessed to soon to call them TRULY ours.  I could make this post a long one but for now.  I will leave it at that.

We installed a baby monitor in the girls room to monitor how much S actually gets up.  I really don't know what the point of this is other then to just monitor it.

Well that is life at this moment. When do you finally just accept all that you've been given? When do you stop feeling like your two steps behind, like it's all going to crash any second?  I am waiting for just stopping to live moment to moment but really GRAP a hold of it all and just take in the big picture