Let's Shine

I spend so much time venting or at least venting in my head.  Don't get me wrong I love my life just at times too be honest it's a lot to take in.   Having a daughter with undiagnosed issues, little fiesty ball of joy, normal soon to be 10 year old boy and a hyper, anger issues 7 year old.  Oh life.... "Where is the WINE?!"

This weekend however, I stepped out of my bubble and really reflected on my children.  In the midst of chaos, I realized that I am so proud of them, ALL OF THEM!  J this weekend got asked to play on two different competitive club soccer teams.  He was doubting himself and his abilities.  We live in a place that soccer is one of the main sports and everyone plays at some competitive level.  J had been waiting to join club but with the COST $$$ to play I didn't feel that my young kid needed to play.  He was on a great team, that he was growing with.  However, now that they are all splitting to different clubs it was our turn to start checking around.  The main team that he wanted to play decided to take a different route and that left J without a team, that is when he wanted to give up.  We told him to pray, and that God would guide him to the right coach and team.  He tried for a well established team that is hard to get into, we waited and waited, and had 3 tryouts.  During the waiting period, we tried for another team that asked J to play for them within the first 20 minutes.  The next night we heard from the last team and J made that one too.  He trusted God, thanked Him and learned to so much!

M (my baby boy) got asked to move up to Minor B instead of Caps.  I was nervous but I think he'll be ok. I know he'll be ok! I said maybe it will teach him some humility.. Husband's response "Yeah, right that kid is gifted maybe not." I pray he learns something.

S is doing so well in homeschooling.  I know that this whole transition is hard for her.  However, this weekend we ran into someone we hadn't seen in a while.  Their first comment was "She seems so much happier"  they had no idea of the change we made. I can't imagine life through S's eyes.  Every now and then I get a glimpse on how hard the world must be to process for her.  She is truly a joy, to watch her understand things.

I know that my life may not be what my personality fits, and in another time I see myself living in New York, in an amazing loft in the middle of the City, going out every night and living for Fashion!!  I would be a hot mess but I would look FABULOUS and get too eat and get in free EVERYWHERE so who cared if I was a HOT MESS!!

That is not my life, I cannot deny that I was meant to be a mom of four highly AMAZING Children.  I married a GREAT man that wanted the Same.  So in my dreams I am in New York, and every now and then I get to stay up SUPER late and Go Out however, I am always the mom on the sidelines and sitting beside my children reading.. I wouldn't change that for the WORLD!

MIX UP

To say that we have been busy is an understatement.  Some days in the midst of my crazy life I feel calm, content, "I got this", then other days  I think "What  did I do? "Someone take these children before I lose it.' It's funny because on those days usually God sends someone my way to say "Your so paitient, you have amazing children." I'm thinking "Yeah, right you didn't just hear me in the car!"  


My children are growing and getting older.. we are discussing things that I never thought they would ask me "Mom what is GAY, not the happy version etiher.. " "When am I going to get my boobies?" etc...  I ask for guidance to do my best to answer these questions.




It's going to be interesting to see what these children are like as they get older.  People talk about having faith but don't parents have faith everyday - We have faith that our children are going to grow up to be AMAZING adults, have GREAT children, and just plan be HAPPY in life.  Having four children God has given me four children with 4 very different personalities.  I have a strong, stubborn, athletic and fashionista daughter that is K.  I have a athletic, SUPER SMART, lovable, also stubborn little boy that is M. I have a sweet, loving, chatter box, athletic, lazy when it comes to schooling that is J, and S who is sweet, just wants you to love her all day, doesn't care about fashion, but can read till there is no tomorrow that is S.


Homeschooling has been an adjustment for all of us!  It's teaching things about myself I never thought too learn, or I needed to learn.  I am learning to have more patience because we can never have enough,  to approach S with a calm tone at all times,  how to be a better parent and focus on where my child is at now and not focus on where my child should be at. 


I am little mad at our school system and what I have learned while starting homeschooling.  I kept asking them for help to see where my child needed help in. There words "We cannot help her unless she falls a whole grade behind."  What THE!!!?? Well... guess what she fell a whole grade behind and you still didn't help so I'm doing it myself