I was reading another blog today about Gratitude and it made me think. The person was right, I too do not know how to teach this to S. She yells at me all the time "I never this, I never that.... Your mean.... I want, etc., etc.,. How do you teach this? For my other three kids they get it, they understand when someone does something for them, they don't say I never etc.... They say that Aspies are one sided that they only think of themselves, that is why they have a very your expected to do this attitude. Does this then give them an excuse to act the way they do? I don't think so, it helps or is suppose to help us understand this but does not give them reason too? I also don't think it helps for me to just accept it. The question then still reminds how do you teach it? Get them to understand it, in the heat of their rant on this or that? Don't get me wrong S can have the best manners especially with anyone that is not at the home.
I am also beginning to question a lot of stuff. Yes S has problems with her language skills HINT: just a second ago my son was trying to get a tiny little action figure gun out of some package. The Gun was the size of a finger nail. S response "Oh that is a big as a rat." J- "A rat is bigger then this S." S- "It's as big as a mouse I mean." THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!! We went to check the kids classroom assignments a little while ago. It took S five minutes to figure out how to ask me the name of her teacher - "What is the class called?, I mean who is the lady?, The class that I am in what is.....? I mean..... My answer - Do you want to know the name of your teacher? S- yes, please. - my response was of course the teacher name. Poor little thing has the hardest time trying to word her questions, and you sort of have to know what she is trying to ask. Is this normal or expected with ASpies? Is this part of the pervasive language skills that she lacks?
The argumentative is a question too - She argues about everything that is not exactly the way she pictures it. Today we went to Target which in itself is always an FUN ADVENTURE (Sarcastic undertones). J bought some candy and a toy with money from the tooth fairy - AND LET The RANT began! You never buy me, blah..., blah... I try to explain that I am not buying it for him but to no avail it does not stop. Is that too part of it? Or is that the behavior disorder that they tried to say she has?
FUNNY WORDS today: I'm all stucky (AKA: she was sticky.) How do you know when you do your hair? (I Know what she was saying... but do you?)
P.S. - We got the teachers we wanted!!!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
School and Sensory Issues
We are on our TWO day count down until school starts. I am both excited, nervous and anxious. S is about to go into 1st grade with 20 something students in one class and one teacher as opposed to her 3 teachers and 18 kids. Kindergarten was full of music, poems, and cute readings. No more of that and WELCOME to the REAL WORLD my dear 1st grader.
School is intense these days. Can you imagine that with language, coping and sensory disorders? I feel horrible, like I am throwing her into a mash pit. I wish I could sit with her all day or just watch her from a far. I too am learning to let her go and do the best I can do when I can. I am sure she will do just fine and the other issues will come at home. J is about to go into 2nd grade and he does amazing in school. Our only obstacle is homework. To make him do it, it's like pulling teeth as a matter a fact I think he would rather have a tooth pulled then actually do homework.
S on the other hand LOVES HOMEWORK, work books, and learning new things. To get her to play is pulling teeth. All in all we are ready for the first day of school on Wednesday.
S is back to her typical self with the usual quirks to her day. Today I found myself pondering the sensory disorders. I have been getting her clothes ready for school and found that most of her old stuff I have gotten rid of not because she outgrew it but because they had elastic in them, or pants are too tight. I love FASHION and so sometimes I do make her wear a pair of skinny jeans. If I can get her in them at the last minute, distract her in the morning and run out the door. WAHLA!! She's wearing them in the car and if she complains she can't change till we get back - Is that mean???
Another one of her sensory issues are smells. She has this amazing nose. She can smell a certain smell a mile away. Things that wouldn't typically bother someone always irritate her. Gas smells, TOOTS as we call it, stinky smells, sweet smells, etc... She has a nose like a Dog or some kind of animal that has an amazing nose.
Today I had to tell her to stop smelling the sewer or drain that she was standing by. She was just standing their smelling it and commenting. Smells intrigue her. She said that she wasn't putting her nose on it just standing close to it mommy and it STINKS.
Can anyone explain these to me? I think sometimes this is a big part of my annoyance that I have to overlook. Their are other sensory issues but I overlook them.
Well TWO days away.... I find out what teachers they both have tomorrow. For J, I am not familiar with the second grade spanish teachers. For S, I have my hopes set on one teacher and praying that she doesn't get the other. We will find out soon........
School is intense these days. Can you imagine that with language, coping and sensory disorders? I feel horrible, like I am throwing her into a mash pit. I wish I could sit with her all day or just watch her from a far. I too am learning to let her go and do the best I can do when I can. I am sure she will do just fine and the other issues will come at home. J is about to go into 2nd grade and he does amazing in school. Our only obstacle is homework. To make him do it, it's like pulling teeth as a matter a fact I think he would rather have a tooth pulled then actually do homework.
S on the other hand LOVES HOMEWORK, work books, and learning new things. To get her to play is pulling teeth. All in all we are ready for the first day of school on Wednesday.
S is back to her typical self with the usual quirks to her day. Today I found myself pondering the sensory disorders. I have been getting her clothes ready for school and found that most of her old stuff I have gotten rid of not because she outgrew it but because they had elastic in them, or pants are too tight. I love FASHION and so sometimes I do make her wear a pair of skinny jeans. If I can get her in them at the last minute, distract her in the morning and run out the door. WAHLA!! She's wearing them in the car and if she complains she can't change till we get back - Is that mean???
Another one of her sensory issues are smells. She has this amazing nose. She can smell a certain smell a mile away. Things that wouldn't typically bother someone always irritate her. Gas smells, TOOTS as we call it, stinky smells, sweet smells, etc... She has a nose like a Dog or some kind of animal that has an amazing nose.
Today I had to tell her to stop smelling the sewer or drain that she was standing by. She was just standing their smelling it and commenting. Smells intrigue her. She said that she wasn't putting her nose on it just standing close to it mommy and it STINKS.
Can anyone explain these to me? I think sometimes this is a big part of my annoyance that I have to overlook. Their are other sensory issues but I overlook them.
Well TWO days away.... I find out what teachers they both have tomorrow. For J, I am not familiar with the second grade spanish teachers. For S, I have my hopes set on one teacher and praying that she doesn't get the other. We will find out soon........
Saturday, July 16, 2011
My little "M"
I thought I would share little about one my M today. I speak a lot on S and J and K but not to much on my M. What's interesting in this, is that M is my "3rd" child. My children were not "born" into their numbered roles they were given, or you can say we created this role for them. I never understood the meaning of third child, second child, etc... because their was only two in my family. However, having four children now... I understand it and it is so true.
I say we "created" these roles because we are in the process of adopting M and S and it's been almost two years. It seems like everyone has just assumed their roles. J is the older, wiser, cautious one of them all, S is while S. M is easily forgotten about, not in a bad way he just is quiet and does his thing. K while she has for sure become the last and fourth child. She is Loud, feisty, the baby, and opinionated. She fights for what she wants, that too not in the bad way.
That leaves me with my M. Oh my M..... He is such a sweet little boy. He too has his issues, weather that is the trauma or the neglect of the past or just hereditary traits - Who Knows? I do know that he is one of the sweetest little boys you will ever meet. He loves hugs and kisses and seeks them more then the others on his own. K is always given them A LOT since she is the baby, a monkey on my back. M wants them and I never deny. He looks out for his Mommy he covers me when he thinks I'm cold, or hugs me when he thinks I need to be comforted. He looks for ways that I may need help and is always eager. I need to get better at accepting his help. I am little controlling.
He does have anger problems because he is soooo... overly sensitive. You just tell him don't do that or No and he gets his feelings hurt so FAST "You don't love me... I don't like that toy.... I want to leave....." Nonsense really, he doesn't know what he is saying. He's just mad because he's FOUR YEARS OLD. Unlike S since I know some people will say "Well she does that to" He is quick to say mommy I am sorry for saying mean things, mommy I love you, hug me.. He always knows what he did wrong and understands his corrections. He is four so he does repeat them.
He is so talented, I really mean GIFTED!! He has this amazing photographic memory. If you wear something with the tiniest detail he will remember that detail and when you wore it. He will also point out that detail in someone else's clothes remembering where he saw it. He remembers so much of the craziest things. It amazes me. He is very artistic but he hasn't quite discovered this. I am no art specialist, but the use of colors in paintings intrigues me. And if all my children make a painting M's painting always is so smooth, and flows, no help needed. It's just put together in a way that makes you look at a little longer then the others.
His other gift is sports. He already has the older coaches talking about when they get him on the team. He learned to ride his bike in FIVE minutes. He asked his daddy to take off his training wheels and told him "Don't hold me Daddy." I was upstairs taking a shower, to my surprise he was riding full force when I came down and by the end of the day JUMPING CURBS - no lie. He hops his razor, he can throw and bat, slides and runs. He watches and studies the sport players on TV - football, baseball, soccer and basketball. He mimics their moves without a ball and with one. It is a GOD given gift and that is all I can say. He has a very kind and gentle hearted a very gentle heart.
I told him the other day. One day your going to make an amazing husband. His respones "Then I can be an amazing daddy." I just hugged him and said "yes M you will be".
To my M.... I am proud to call you my boy. I love you more then words can express and more then you ever know. You are mine with all my heart and always will be. Love your MOMMY xoxo.
I say we "created" these roles because we are in the process of adopting M and S and it's been almost two years. It seems like everyone has just assumed their roles. J is the older, wiser, cautious one of them all, S is while S. M is easily forgotten about, not in a bad way he just is quiet and does his thing. K while she has for sure become the last and fourth child. She is Loud, feisty, the baby, and opinionated. She fights for what she wants, that too not in the bad way.
That leaves me with my M. Oh my M..... He is such a sweet little boy. He too has his issues, weather that is the trauma or the neglect of the past or just hereditary traits - Who Knows? I do know that he is one of the sweetest little boys you will ever meet. He loves hugs and kisses and seeks them more then the others on his own. K is always given them A LOT since she is the baby, a monkey on my back. M wants them and I never deny. He looks out for his Mommy he covers me when he thinks I'm cold, or hugs me when he thinks I need to be comforted. He looks for ways that I may need help and is always eager. I need to get better at accepting his help. I am little controlling.
He does have anger problems because he is soooo... overly sensitive. You just tell him don't do that or No and he gets his feelings hurt so FAST "You don't love me... I don't like that toy.... I want to leave....." Nonsense really, he doesn't know what he is saying. He's just mad because he's FOUR YEARS OLD. Unlike S since I know some people will say "Well she does that to" He is quick to say mommy I am sorry for saying mean things, mommy I love you, hug me.. He always knows what he did wrong and understands his corrections. He is four so he does repeat them.
He is so talented, I really mean GIFTED!! He has this amazing photographic memory. If you wear something with the tiniest detail he will remember that detail and when you wore it. He will also point out that detail in someone else's clothes remembering where he saw it. He remembers so much of the craziest things. It amazes me. He is very artistic but he hasn't quite discovered this. I am no art specialist, but the use of colors in paintings intrigues me. And if all my children make a painting M's painting always is so smooth, and flows, no help needed. It's just put together in a way that makes you look at a little longer then the others.
His other gift is sports. He already has the older coaches talking about when they get him on the team. He learned to ride his bike in FIVE minutes. He asked his daddy to take off his training wheels and told him "Don't hold me Daddy." I was upstairs taking a shower, to my surprise he was riding full force when I came down and by the end of the day JUMPING CURBS - no lie. He hops his razor, he can throw and bat, slides and runs. He watches and studies the sport players on TV - football, baseball, soccer and basketball. He mimics their moves without a ball and with one. It is a GOD given gift and that is all I can say. He has a very kind and gentle hearted a very gentle heart.
I told him the other day. One day your going to make an amazing husband. His respones "Then I can be an amazing daddy." I just hugged him and said "yes M you will be".
To my M.... I am proud to call you my boy. I love you more then words can express and more then you ever know. You are mine with all my heart and always will be. Love your MOMMY xoxo.
 |
| Ready to play ball |
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| Him and K at the beach. Little buddies.... |
Friday, July 15, 2011
What's been going on?
Well time has been going by and I haven't posted in awhile. The children have all been on Summer Break, the much dreaded Summer Break that I was so not looking forward too turned out to be a GREAT SUMMER that WE all are going to miss.
Summary of the last 6 weeks:
1. Started with a nice camping trip a local stay-cation.
2. Took the older three - J, S, and M to Palm Springs with Friends for a couple of days.
3. S got tested at C.A.R.E.S, they have not called to follow up to schedule the counseling they said she needed. They said that she has no Coping, no social and pervasive language skills. That they would have diagnosed her with Aspergers if she did not have a previous background of neglect. SO =P (tongue sticking out) at them. We will just keep making it through until Children's Hospital appointment in August for me(interview) and September for her. Meanwhile, also will continue with our make shift home therapies and doing as much as we can.
4. The older two S and J went to my in-laws for a little over a week. I was super nervous about this. Not for J because he's been before and does well when away. But for S who I was worried with all the WHAT IF's: What If she losses it, What if she does this or that, blah, blah, blah..... Well thank God all my WHAT IF's were not needed. She did great!! She got lots and lots of one on one attention and did lots of fun things with everyone. Since all I have our nephews the boys all played together and S soaked in all the girlie, girl attention.
Well they were gone, I enjoyed more then ever, spending time with my youngest two M and K. Too watch them play together, was so wonderful. They got to act their age as much as they wanted because they weren't worried about trying to be a BIG kid like their brother and sister. They laid in Mama's bed and watched moves, they got special trips to SeaWorld, to visit daddy at his FAR AWAY job, zoo trips and a lot of little things.
To remember what it was like with two, What is all the complaining about people?! Two is a breeze, books of mine got read, they played, house stayed clean without the older two messing it up. No fights to really break up because they both are so close in age they like to play the same things.
It was the life - Thank you to my amazing in-laws for taking the older two for a much needed time away.
School resumes here in about five days. School shopping is somewhat done and we are all looking forward to starting our routine again. I think we are looking forward to it? The TV we got fixed and we made it the WHOLE summer without one. The kids would and still are watching old VHS's in my bed. LOVE IT!!! Daddy's been gone our whole Summer break working his bottom off in 113 degreee heat and THANK you daddy but we SURVIVED mommy with all her four cubs. S and M learned to swim on their own. So PROUD! For S this was a huge accomplishment we started swimming lessons at AquaPros a local place that specializes in autistic kids. S use to scream when water touched her and never got her face and hair wet but she LOVES the water, she has confidence and with her own timing she is now swimming to watch her swim means more then words can say because for S things come at a different timing then others she has a lot more work that goes on in the inside.
School not only starts for the kids but for me as well. I haven't been in school in 7 years!!! I am excited to do something for myself and for a future. I decided to pursue a minor in Child Development and Major in Psychology. All my old computer stuff, doesn't count at all but at least I had previously started studying Child Development so I don't have that much more to go. They said that I will be done in 2014! ha ha ha....
Summary of the last 6 weeks:
1. Started with a nice camping trip a local stay-cation.
2. Took the older three - J, S, and M to Palm Springs with Friends for a couple of days.
3. S got tested at C.A.R.E.S, they have not called to follow up to schedule the counseling they said she needed. They said that she has no Coping, no social and pervasive language skills. That they would have diagnosed her with Aspergers if she did not have a previous background of neglect. SO =P (tongue sticking out) at them. We will just keep making it through until Children's Hospital appointment in August for me(interview) and September for her. Meanwhile, also will continue with our make shift home therapies and doing as much as we can.
4. The older two S and J went to my in-laws for a little over a week. I was super nervous about this. Not for J because he's been before and does well when away. But for S who I was worried with all the WHAT IF's: What If she losses it, What if she does this or that, blah, blah, blah..... Well thank God all my WHAT IF's were not needed. She did great!! She got lots and lots of one on one attention and did lots of fun things with everyone. Since all I have our nephews the boys all played together and S soaked in all the girlie, girl attention.
Well they were gone, I enjoyed more then ever, spending time with my youngest two M and K. Too watch them play together, was so wonderful. They got to act their age as much as they wanted because they weren't worried about trying to be a BIG kid like their brother and sister. They laid in Mama's bed and watched moves, they got special trips to SeaWorld, to visit daddy at his FAR AWAY job, zoo trips and a lot of little things.
To remember what it was like with two, What is all the complaining about people?! Two is a breeze, books of mine got read, they played, house stayed clean without the older two messing it up. No fights to really break up because they both are so close in age they like to play the same things.
It was the life - Thank you to my amazing in-laws for taking the older two for a much needed time away.
School resumes here in about five days. School shopping is somewhat done and we are all looking forward to starting our routine again. I think we are looking forward to it? The TV we got fixed and we made it the WHOLE summer without one. The kids would and still are watching old VHS's in my bed. LOVE IT!!! Daddy's been gone our whole Summer break working his bottom off in 113 degreee heat and THANK you daddy but we SURVIVED mommy with all her four cubs. S and M learned to swim on their own. So PROUD! For S this was a huge accomplishment we started swimming lessons at AquaPros a local place that specializes in autistic kids. S use to scream when water touched her and never got her face and hair wet but she LOVES the water, she has confidence and with her own timing she is now swimming to watch her swim means more then words can say because for S things come at a different timing then others she has a lot more work that goes on in the inside.
School not only starts for the kids but for me as well. I haven't been in school in 7 years!!! I am excited to do something for myself and for a future. I decided to pursue a minor in Child Development and Major in Psychology. All my old computer stuff, doesn't count at all but at least I had previously started studying Child Development so I don't have that much more to go. They said that I will be done in 2014! ha ha ha....
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