I do what I do for my child because I love them! God has given me a true understanding of His unconditional Love. The never ending patience that it takes to speak kindly to someone during a tantrum, rage, etc.. to remain calm and know that you are doing your best. I pray for an out pouring of kindness and Love not so much patience, it's Love that I need to show.
When I am able to laugh at my day, it's me taking a step out of myself and just laughing at the literal viewpoint of my child. If I told her, she can do something when pigs fly, I think she honestly would wait outside for them to fly, change that I KNOW she would. OR ask if that can really happen?
Everyday I since I started homeschool I wake up thinking did I do the right thing? Is this benefitting my child? Every time she has a break down because of going to campus (2xaweek) I know I did. When she is overwhelmed in public stores, theme parks, I am blessed she doesn't have a fit there (anymore) but tries to climb as close to me as she can. Hint: I said there, she saves that for at home.
I am learning with my child, how to make the world in textbooks one she can touch and hold. Everything has to become a manipulative even vocabulary (which is not a favorite subject).
Everyday when I wake I pray for the Grace of God to help me to explain things to my child to get through the day, to learn how to help her understand the world, and more so help to understand her viewpoint. I wonder what her future will hold. We are in third grad doing, second grade work. My child does not understand opposites because, that just doesn't make sense in her mind. She can quote the definition though, just no examples. My daughter gets confused between letter names and numbers especially during reading time when she has to sound it out. My daughter just had an hour long fit because the question stated " How does the city control the number of horses?" She was obsessed in finding the exact number and could not wrap herself around the figure of speech, even when I explained it in a number of ways.
God gave me S because I was called to be a her mother. I see that if we didn't make the choices we did I don't want to think what her life would have been. I love her very much and always will. She is teaching me to not find strength in myself but to lean on God and other people. To step out of my bubble and to let others in.
I am battling things in my life and desires for a quick fits to relax like I never have. Don't worry I won't give in just being honest. Just listen when someone shares, if you don't understand that's ok, really it is. But NEVER compare your own child's life to theirs unless you truly can.
This is a glimpse..
P.s Got to love her little apology notes, we have been working on how to say sorry.
