Yesterday I went to C.A.R.E.S. for S's pre-evaulation to see if S if in fact needs to be evaluated or if in fact I'm just crazy. The verdict is I may be in fact crazy but, they see some things in her verbal to do a full evaluation, so in June the same week of our first adoption court date we head over to Scripps Ranch for her evaluation.
I do have to say that I was very impressed with the facility. Their are a tons of counselors that work at the office and off sight. I did not know, that they work with the San Diego Regional Center and also the San Diego school district. They offer a number of services and therapies depending on what your child may need. They do take medi-cal for those that need it, and if not their pricing is very affordable I feel and not based on your income. I am looking forward to working with them! I will in fact recommend them to anyone that can use them. They have a couple of other offices in other states as well.
We had a very hard night and a very hard morning yesterday. I have to be honest. I can never and will never change or regret our decision to adopt S and M. However, most parents have a child with a disability that child was born into your family. With S, I have chosen to take her into our family and all that comes with her. I'm not saying I"m great or look at me. It's just that, sometimes I think of everyone involved in it and this wasn't a choice given to all. I am blessed though that my children see no difference in this and that they embrace each other and weather they know it or not this at times has helped to embrace everything as well. I adore and Love S with all my heart and with all that God has given me. This was my conclusion yesterday that I am so blessed to Love her. A lot of people see the other way around but, no honestly it's US that are blessed by her and all that she is teaching us and all the Love that she has to give. She has a smile that is priceless to all that know it. Ok onto the meeting....
The meeting was very draining. No one wishes to have something wrong with your child, you just want to help your child. It's exhausting to explain everything about them that you see that is just not right. As my knowledge is growing in this area, I find that many people immediately think of "Rain Man" with Dustin Hoffman. They expect that anyone with Autism will resemble that case. Whereas Autism ranges from Severe to High Functioning no one case is exactly alike. A lot of people with Autism/Aspergers are very smart indeed they just have a different way of looking at the world. When you come to understand the way they look at the world you can't quite argue with them that they are wrong, they are just very literal people, most of the time. In S's case sometimes she can be quite off the wall also. I know that a lot of people want to say "Well my kid get's mad at BLANK too, or my child has FITS too etc... I just always agree with them and walk away. I am tired of explaining this, I don't feel that to prove to acquaintances on how and what my child has.
With this meeting though as in other evaluations this is in fact what you do. There is always a number of questions to answer then break down. For two hours, I sat there and did just this. At the end of it all, all I wanted to do is hug S and tell her that I love her. I apologized a number of times for just filling like I was going on and on. It is difficult to talk about these things yet at times when I'm on my own dealing with it that can be all I want to talk about too. Go figure. I came home went to bed early when I put the kids down.
On top of the Autism information, our adoption paperwork has seemed like it's still going. Today already was spent dropping off papers, calling about information etc... To tell you truth. I am EXHAUSTED!!! I thank the Lord that the weekend is upon us, I thank Him for my strength to go on. So please pray that S has a great next couple of days, that I have the patience to deal with it. And that C.A.R.E.S is able to help us with helping her. Off to pick up the preschoolers.
On a side note: Whoever is reading this in Brazil, Germany, and other far away places. Thanks for reading my spill.
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